HOW TO MAKE MODERN ART


Consider this black triangle. What does it mean to you? Do you feel nothing? Then perhaps it is your fault, for not thinking deeply enough. Now, consider this black square. How about these, 3 black squares? Wow, you really don’t feel anything? You must be really shallow. Well, how about this sculpture of a
giant piece of human feces? Surely, that must resonate within the walls
of your every being. Has this great art not stirred your soul? Well, it’s in a museum, so it must be important. Right? Nope! It’s just.. modern art (intro)
Wow, Ethan, great moves, keep it up, proud of you. (intro music) Modern art was created in 1960 by the
greatest artist that ever lived, Jackson Pollock. Pollock believed that art was just
a bit of a goof, and that artists have been trying
too hard. Here is his most famous painting ‘A Bit of a Goob’. And of course, his other masterpiece “A Dab Will Do Ya'”. People came to understand that art
isn’t supposed to mean anything, It’s supposed to just.. confuse you and make you feel stupid. Pollock perfectly encaptured that with his famous.. masterworks. Do you see that way – there’s like
this one part in the corner where he like put the black paint? Inspired. Today we will explore modern art in all of its majesty from the oldest and greatest, to the new and most BOLD. Join us today in modern art. (high pitched sound) You can see the 3 white canvases here have clearly made this young man feel
very stupid and inadequate, making it a very profound piece of
modern art. (auctioneer)
In the room still at 73 million, 74 million, 75 million, (Ethan)
These were later sold at auction for 95 million dollars Another great sign of true artistry. (auctioneer)
Nick, your bidder at 95 million dollars. (clapping) I wanted to make someone else feel stupid
for a change, and to make a million dollars doing it. So I headed off to the MoMA here, in New York City, to learn from the best. This is the first piece I noticed, what impressed me, is the absolute depth
of it two bracelets, sitting on a counter
filmed in VHS? Breathtaking. This piece is entitled, ‘I Really Don’t Give A Shit (And it Shows)’ It sold for 2 million dollars which definitely left me feeling quite
stupid and confused What specifically did I learn from
this piece? Looking old increases the value of art. Here’s the second piece I noticed, it’s rocks, under glass, That’s it. It’s just – it’s just rocks.. in glass. This piece was commissioned for
the price of 200 thousand dollars. And, if you ask me, money well spent. This piece is entitled ‘This is Art? Oh, Okay I Guess I’ll Take Your Word For It Cool.’ And what do we learn from this piece? As long as it’s behind glass it’s art. This artist here took pieces of a
phone book, and framed them all on the wall fulfilling the two things that we’ve
already learned ‘behind glass’, and ‘look old’. Let’s try to call one of these numbers up and see if it’s real.. Oh my god.. It is real.. This has got to be worth so much money This piece is entitled, ‘All I Did Was Frame Some Phonebook Pages, and Now I’m In The MOMA’. And what do we learn this time? Take something that already exists, and resell it as art. At the end of the day, I was no closer to making a million
dollars from art. I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, and confused. (cough) It felt like the harder I tried to
understand it the further from the actual truth I was. But then.. it hit me like a can of paint. The answer, was within myself the whole time. I just wasn’t brave enough to see it yet. (dramatic drum sound) (dramatic drum sound)
I’m.. the Beanie Guy- What old crap do I have? (dramatic drum sound) Sentimental, but meaningless to anyone
but me. (dramatic drum sound) True art requires sacrifice and letting go of the things that you love. (dramatic drum sound) Goodbye, old friend It always had to be you.. (dramatic drum sound) It’s all been worth it It’s all. Been. Worth it. And I’d do it again What I’ve learned is that no rules apply, except for the one about glass that one is very important. One thing’s for certain if you don’t make a million dollars then it’s NOT ART. And that’s why I’m sending this video
out to Martin Shkreli, Kanye West, President Barack Obama, any eccentric millionaire out there, because if you don’t buy this art it’s MEANINGLESS. If I can’t humiliate, confuse and make
other people feel dumb, then what is the point of making art at all? Please, help me make this beanie a national treasure by purchasing it for 1 million dollars Thank you so much. The link to eBay is in the description.

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